Also I wanted say Happy Birthday to my wonderful Grandpa Wes! I love you.
Monday, October 22, 2012
Happy Birthday Grandpa!
So I got some great news today...no cancer!
Also I wanted say Happy Birthday to my wonderful Grandpa Wes! I love you.
Also I wanted say Happy Birthday to my wonderful Grandpa Wes! I love you.
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Moments
Life.
It's crazy how time goes by so quickly. I was thinking today about everything that's happened in just the last three months and I'm blown away. Let me fill you in but it's not going to be in order because frankly I have a rubbish memory for these things (also last week could have been three weeks ago for all I know).
Okay I had purple hair for a month or two or a while. I know it sounds odd but I've always wanted to try it. I wanted purple purple not kinda purple or purple black. Even odder, I don't really like the color purple. I mean it's a good color and all but I usually don't pick it for much unless it's hair color. I know I question my sanity too.....
I've had to change my hair color back to black-ish,blue-ish, I-don't-know-what-the-heck-this-color-is-ish because I don't have the time to dye my hair every week, which is a great segue-way into my next story....
I went to the dentist in June or some month at the beginning of the summer for a cleaning and was told I needed to get a crown (not the good kind where I get to act like a princess...some more) among some other things. So I went to the dentist in June, July, and August. This was not only painful physically and financially but it also took up my time. So imagine my surprise when in September I started getting pressure in my jaw on the left side and it turned out to be an abscessed tooth and I needed a root canal. Go me!
On the same day I got my root canal finished and the temporary crown put on I also started experiencing some lower back pain. Okay I've had shoulder pain on and off since my cancer removal in 2006 and with the exclusion of a couple short encounters with some back spasms I have never experienced pain like this. By the time I got home from visiting Rosaleen, Tara, and Sharon in Cedar City for the weekend, I was in severe pain. I couldn't bend over or reach very far, I couldn't sit, I couldn't stand very long, I could barely walk, I had such bad nerve pain in my right leg I wanted to cry, and nothing I did or didn't do, or any medication I took would take the pain away. So I went to the doctor and got the sad news that it would probably not go away in a couple of days and that I needed walk it off (put as gently as he could). There was going to be no quick fix. Oh goody. Meanwhile at the same appointment the doctor noticed a mole on my back that he thought should be removed given my history with melanoma. Oh goody. As a person that has been diagnosed with cancer in the past I have a lot of fear when it comes to even looking at the possibility of facing it again. I know that I have a loving Heavenly Father that has me in His hands and that brings peace but I still have my freak out times.
Meanwhile other things were going on. I mentioned the weekend with Rosaleen, Tara, and Sharon. That was fantastic. I have such great friends in my life and at times don't have the words or a way to really express their importance to me in my life. It amazes me at times how God knows us so well that even before we know he knows and provides the exact thing we need. I also mentioned the State Fair. As always it was tons of work with little to NO sleep but fantastic all the same. Odd I know. Also at some point in September, Sharon and I got the news that we were going to be moving to the house next door and out of The Shack. So among the dental appointments, doctor appointments, back pain, work, work, and work, there was also painting, cleaning, packing, shopping, and moving to be done. And among it all were some outstanding blessings.
I'm sitting in my new (to me) house listening to the faint sound of wind and enjoying my new couch. My back is doing a lot better. I still have some numbness in my right foot and struggle to sit for long periods, but I'm able to walk-ish, drive my tractor, put on my sock, tie my shoe, bend over, and sleep. All great things. Through all of this I've just been feeling a great sense of gratitude. I don't know why it takes my life being turned upside down and shaken like a snow globe to get my attention, but it does sometimes. I find that I have fantastic friends and family willing to help and that I need to let them. I've found a great peace in the overwhelming love of God. I've found beauty in the simplest things, such as the ability to sit and stand up. I've learned that the strength gained from relying on others is not a weakness. Once again I'm reminded that I am not superwoman nor do I need to be because I'm not in control: God is. As I wait to find out if I have cancer, I remember that facing one's death is a great learning tool for how to live one's life.
It's crazy how time goes by so quickly. I was thinking today about everything that's happened in just the last three months and I'm blown away. Let me fill you in but it's not going to be in order because frankly I have a rubbish memory for these things (also last week could have been three weeks ago for all I know).
Okay I had purple hair for a month or two or a while. I know it sounds odd but I've always wanted to try it. I wanted purple purple not kinda purple or purple black. Even odder, I don't really like the color purple. I mean it's a good color and all but I usually don't pick it for much unless it's hair color. I know I question my sanity too.....
I went to the dentist in June or some month at the beginning of the summer for a cleaning and was told I needed to get a crown (not the good kind where I get to act like a princess...some more) among some other things. So I went to the dentist in June, July, and August. This was not only painful physically and financially but it also took up my time. So imagine my surprise when in September I started getting pressure in my jaw on the left side and it turned out to be an abscessed tooth and I needed a root canal. Go me!
On the same day I got my root canal finished and the temporary crown put on I also started experiencing some lower back pain. Okay I've had shoulder pain on and off since my cancer removal in 2006 and with the exclusion of a couple short encounters with some back spasms I have never experienced pain like this. By the time I got home from visiting Rosaleen, Tara, and Sharon in Cedar City for the weekend, I was in severe pain. I couldn't bend over or reach very far, I couldn't sit, I couldn't stand very long, I could barely walk, I had such bad nerve pain in my right leg I wanted to cry, and nothing I did or didn't do, or any medication I took would take the pain away. So I went to the doctor and got the sad news that it would probably not go away in a couple of days and that I needed walk it off (put as gently as he could). There was going to be no quick fix. Oh goody. Meanwhile at the same appointment the doctor noticed a mole on my back that he thought should be removed given my history with melanoma. Oh goody. As a person that has been diagnosed with cancer in the past I have a lot of fear when it comes to even looking at the possibility of facing it again. I know that I have a loving Heavenly Father that has me in His hands and that brings peace but I still have my freak out times.
Meanwhile other things were going on. I mentioned the weekend with Rosaleen, Tara, and Sharon. That was fantastic. I have such great friends in my life and at times don't have the words or a way to really express their importance to me in my life. It amazes me at times how God knows us so well that even before we know he knows and provides the exact thing we need. I also mentioned the State Fair. As always it was tons of work with little to NO sleep but fantastic all the same. Odd I know. Also at some point in September, Sharon and I got the news that we were going to be moving to the house next door and out of The Shack. So among the dental appointments, doctor appointments, back pain, work, work, and work, there was also painting, cleaning, packing, shopping, and moving to be done. And among it all were some outstanding blessings.
I'm sitting in my new (to me) house listening to the faint sound of wind and enjoying my new couch. My back is doing a lot better. I still have some numbness in my right foot and struggle to sit for long periods, but I'm able to walk-ish, drive my tractor, put on my sock, tie my shoe, bend over, and sleep. All great things. Through all of this I've just been feeling a great sense of gratitude. I don't know why it takes my life being turned upside down and shaken like a snow globe to get my attention, but it does sometimes. I find that I have fantastic friends and family willing to help and that I need to let them. I've found a great peace in the overwhelming love of God. I've found beauty in the simplest things, such as the ability to sit and stand up. I've learned that the strength gained from relying on others is not a weakness. Once again I'm reminded that I am not superwoman nor do I need to be because I'm not in control: God is. As I wait to find out if I have cancer, I remember that facing one's death is a great learning tool for how to live one's life.
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